Why are people sooooo busy? Are you so busy? I’m sure you are; going to meetings and volunteering for the church or the community, working on a home project or making a shopping list, following up on emails and trying to squeeze in lunch. Or having to pick up your kids or grandkids in five minutes. “Too busy” to take care of everything. Except you’re not.
“I’m too busy.” Nearly everyone says that first when they are asked, “How is it going.” I say it too, even though I’m not so busy. I say it just to be accepted as one of the gang. Also, it’s a good scheme to not get saddled with more volunteer work or pressured to buy a ticket on a raffle that I don’t savvy. Even saying the word “busy” makes me feel stressed and the word is as irritating as the expression, “The devil made me do it.” Saying you are “too busy” is like telling the other person they have too much time on their hands which can be demeaning. It can brand you as being self-centered, even if you are ‘busy’ saving the world.
If I do complain about how busy I am, it is as if someone put all these things on my plate without my approval. So, if someone asks you to do something and you either don’t want to or have other plans, say it. Then friends don’t constantly hear that you are “too busy” for them. If you need to sum your life up in one word, try using the words ‘active,’ ‘eventful, or ‘involved’. Years ago, it was common to say, “Fair to middling.” Sometimes I will say, “Not too bad for an old lad.”
When you begin to relinquish your ego, you will no longer feel compelled to prove to people how busy you are in an attempt to validate your sense of worth. “You never really learn much from hearing yourself speak,” according to George Clooney.
My own ego emphatically acknowledges that I am busy only when I can’t avoid being busy. I intend to continue whiling away hours every day learning how to compose on my computer, watching television – especially ‘Chicago PD’ and the new show ‘Bull’ (I don’t mind violence as long as it is make-believe) and of course making uncalled-for trips into Pembroke. I am retired for Pete’s sake. I admit that I do help out my partner with a few things such as grass-cutting, snow removal, some vacuuming and a little cooking but no way will I pull weeds, water the garden or go for a walk just to keep fit. Being entirely honest with yourself is good exercise – “I don’t like exercising.”
My partner loves to keep herself busy, from the time she gets up until the news at 6 p.m. And if I interrupt with a question or even a compliment, she says she’s ‘too busy” to stop what she’s doing. I hear that phrase so many times, I’ve started calling her “busy bee”. She smiles when I say it. Often she will say to me, “WORK is a four-letter word that you know nothing about!” That’s because I believe what Lin Yutang said, “Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.”
For the employed, I call them the “privileged” ones. They will get their opportunity too one day, but for now lines between work and home have become blurred. They are on electronic devices all the freaking time. Smart phones and laptops mean that there is no division between the office and home. When the kids are in bed, then back online. Myself, I can barely recall anything from all the years I worked except that I assumed that my employers could never do without me. A couple of times though, I was badly mistaken and badly shaken.
Since the 1970s, there have been so many new technological innovations that promised to make our lives easier, faster and simpler. Yet, we have no more “free” or leisurely time today than we did decades ago. For a youngster, back then, busy was being out of the house as much as possible and being with your friends doing interesting things such as scheming to bother neighbours (not your own though) or throwing snowballs at cars in the winter. Sometimes it was bicycling all the way to Spotswood’s Landing. As one got older it was movies, eating out and if you’re lucky, dating. One attractive girl said to me once, “It’s too bad I’m ‘too busy’, I would have liked to get to know you.” Another missed opportunity!
Some friends tell me they have daily struggles with the avalanche of email and often refer to it as their jihad against email. They have tried different techniques to make it stop: Only responding in the evenings, not responding over weekends, asking people to schedule more face-to-face time. The emails keep on coming in volumes that are unfathomable: personal emails, business emails, hybrid emails. And a response is expected-right now. They, too, it turns out… are “too busy” to reply.
Todd Stocker said, “I wanted to figure out why I was so busy, but I couldn’t find the time to do it.” You can do it by getting unstuck from overdrive using simple tricks to slow down. Daydreaming can help improve your memory, imagination and ability to manage your emotions. I’ve successfully used the ‘daydreaming’ one all my life. Also, you could turn off the distractions and let your brain shift into neutral, allowing for a more thoughtful and creative outlook.
Being artsy like colouring or doodling has been shown to significantly lower stress hormones. Numerous studies have shown too that listening to music reduces the tension of handling too much at once. Get out the headphones and turn up the volume! Then there is daily meditation; reduce the stress and sleep better too. I would much prefer to let my imagination run rampant.
Have you noticed that even the busiest people are never too busy to take time to tell you how busy they are? If you ever hear me say I’m “too busy”, don’t you believe it.
