I have met many interesting people in my lifetime, like politicians, athletes and religious zealots but the most interesting of all was a brother-in-law of my Ex’s. I knew him on occasion for some 30 years until I relocated back to the Valley. A phone call from Alabama the other day brought back vivid recollections.
John was born and raised in a remote area in Austria. He always yearned to be somewhere else with more options. At 19 years, he decided to escape his humdrum life and begin a new adventure. He found a means to hitch a ride on a cargo ship destined for the port of Toronto.
He arrived there with only the clothes on his back, no money, no English and was basically uneducated. John, however, was resilient and a quick learner and soon took advantage of the soup kitchens for his nourishment and homeless shelters for the coldest nights. I recall him telling me, “They were some of the best meals I ever had.” Within two years he had mastered our language and learned how to be charming and manipulative, always able to find a fairly good paying job. Socializing more and more, he was able to hold one’s attention with his wit and fabricated tales of Austria, almost as if he was an ambassador of theirs.
Equally enamoured with the United States, he longed for war-games, so enlisted in the US marines and did a stint in Vietnam. He survived that, became a US citizen, stuck with the military and made it a career. Afterwards, he returned to Toronto for a visit, met my Ex’s sister, requested her hand in marriage and tied the knot.
They settled in Fort Knox, Kentucky. His career blossomed and eventually the first Iraq invasion was at hand. He was selected to be part of the intelligence core stationed in Kuwait. He came back with many stories but one that stuck with me was the day he was commuting in a military jeep and came across a Kuwaiti lady in distress. She had run out of gas. He drove her home. A few days later he received a message from the husband of the lady. This man invited him to dinner so he could be officially thanked and to meet his family. John told me, “When I arrived there I was so surprised to see how friendly they were. The mother and daughter had exchanged traditional dress for trendy American clothes. They were all so obliging and chorused, “Anything is yours for the taking!” It was a long evening never to be forgotten.
After retirement, it was a house in Alabama. Later another one in Elliot Lake. Supposedly that one was for a fishing location but I heard that he went fishing once and got lost in the wilderness. He wouldn’t admit it though. He did join the Loyal Order of the Moose. Although sworn to secrecy he told me about their BBQ’s and beer parties. He chuckled when he said, “an important ritual for the Moose is the ‘9 o’clock Ceremony’. At nine pm, all Moose are directed to face toward Moose-heart with bowed heads and folded arms and repeat a silent prayer.”
We were visiting him one time in Elliot Lake. It was during a coffee break at Tim Horton’s, the only coffee shop in town at that time. I tentatively brought up the fact that I read that all US military and pensioners now had access to free Viagra. He shot back, “So what!” Later on I brought the subject up again and this time I said, “I would like get one to try at home.” He handed me a pill that looked rather plain but what did I know back then?
A month or so later the visit was reciprocated at my place in Toronto. When we were alone, I told him how great the pill had worked. He started laughing almost into hysterics and sputtered, “That was an aspirin you dummy.” My face went beet red and I had to walk away.
He owned an older Audi that he was so proud of, always bragging about this model. No matter where I came across him, Toronto, Elliot Lake or Wasaga Beach, he was always getting it checked over by a dealer. I didn’t know if it was to preserve its life or because it was unreliable!
John wasn’t that popular with most family members. He never stopped talking even when he was eating and he always ate standing up. “He also talks half the night in his sleep,” his wife said.
When he called from Alabama inviting me to come for a visit, I thought to myself, “Maybe things are best left as they were.”
