Bob’s Mean During Wrong Way Words

Each of us on occasion will use an incorrect but similar sounding word when in a conversation, usually getting a laugh or maybe a criticism.

Some incorrect ones are electrical instead of electoral, bone jaw instead of bonjour and suppository instead of repository. The comedic potential is nearly limitless because we all have blind spots where we mix up two similarly sounding words that are anything but similar in meaning.

‘Malapropisms’ is the name when people use a word wrongly word. Websites track and capture these miscues. One of its moderators, Altrissa, said that its community’s mission statement is to “highlight the number of malapropisms that exist in the world.” It also said, “English is one of the weirdest languages in human history. If native English speakers can have so many problems finding the correct word, imagine how hard it is for everyone else.”

Some of the funniest malapropisms we’ve heard are usually the more immature ones, Altrissa revealed, “Tonight tits” for tinnitus, “orgasmic blueberries” for organic blueberries, and “crushed Asians” for crustaceans.”

People from all backgrounds: whether they’re politicians or private citizens, at some point embarrass themselves by mixing up words that at first glance can look almost identical. Malapropisms tend to have a powerful effect on people, making us take notice, whether we correct the character assassin or not.

The very term ‘malapropism’ came into being after the stage comedy called The Rivals in 1775. In this popular play, the humorous aunt character Mrs. Malaprop often mixed-up words and caused the audience to chuckle with laughter.

Many of us remember the character Archie Bunker from the TV situational comedy, “All in the Family” which extensively used malapropisms. Such as mixing up ‘ill refute’ with ‘ill repute,’ ‘ivory shower’ with ‘ivory tower,’ and ‘pig’s eye’ with ‘pigsty.’ We laugh at times because the jokes are instinctively funny to us; but we also laugh because we know we’ve made similar mistakes, and they’re a part of being human

Which brings me to a politely typed letter I received last Friday in the post. It read:

Hello Bob
Your column is enjoyed and no criticisms intended.
Suggestion about the problem well at Westmeath Rec. centre.
It probably was an artesian well not an artisan well.
The words do have a different meaning if you look them up.
A well wisher

My hackles rose instantly but it was such a courteous letter that that they evaporated just as quickly. I looked up the words. ‘Artesian’ was the correct one. ’Artisan’ which I used in my column means a skilled craftsman.

I was a little embarrassed and wondered how many readers noticed that discrepancy as well?

Using a wrong proper name can be a problem. I started a new job in Wasaga Beach and got in a habit of calling John (an electrician) by the name Paul. I just couldn’t break the pattern. Later, he brought his wife into the shop. When I was introduced, I noticed a message on her blouse. It read, “I am Paul’s wife”. I suddenly realized the absurdity and thought surely that would shock me to calling John by his rightful name ‘John’!

Sometimes you forget to include important background or context, which can dramatically shape the meaning of words. It might be because of mumbling or simply choosing a word that deflects what you mean. Even when ready to listen, the information is often not all there.

Conversely, have you ever told a friend something only to later find that he or she completely misunderstood you – or never heard you at all? Often important information is not properly received, even when spoken in a quiet setting at close range.

Reader’s Digest has lists of words and phrases we’ve all used wrong at some point. They’re cringe-worthy, but hilarious. And hopefully they will help you to never make the same mistakes again.

“For all intensive purposes” is often expressed as “For all intents and purposes.” Then there is “Butt naked” instead of “Buck naked.”

“Irregardless” is not a word but has been used so many times that some dictionaries are considering making it acceptable.

I use malaprops, you use malaprops: After all, we are human beans.