WHITEWATER REGION (Beachburg) — A Beachburg man is discovering what it’s like to accept help instead of giving it.
Billy Harris was recently diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, which is a more aggressive type of cancer, on the right side of his face and neck.
He recently recalled what led to the diagnosis. He had two teeth pulled and “my face blew up and kept getting worse, not better.” The doctors prescribed different IVs and drugs to get the swelling to come down.
Cancer was found after biopsies were done, Billy said.
The tumours are located at the site of the two tooth extractions with another in the sinus cavity. It’s about the size of a clementine and is pushing against the ocular nerve, which is very painful.
Every so often, Billy puts his thumb against his right cheek and pushes down.
“I’ll pull down on the tumour to give me a little relief from the pressure,” he said. “It’s pretty painful. It’s in my maxillary sinus, which is way deep in the sinus.”
The tumours have also made it difficult to eat, because he cannot fully close his mouth to chew, which means it’s soup and soft foods.
On Monday, April 30, he was expecting to undergo his first chemo treatment. While he didn’t know how he would react, Mr. Harris was told how he may react.
On the first two days he would feel fine.
“Then I would start to deteriorate as the chemo would start to hit me,” he said. “Then there will be four days of no one coming near me.”
For the next 18 to 21 weeks, on a three-week cycle, this is how Billy’s life will be.
“They’re going to dump poison into my body,” he said.
Billy cannot get sick or injured, and four times a day his temperature must be taken.
“If it goes over 38(C), I have to go to the hospital,” he said. As he points above his head, he said, “There’s an upstairs room that will become my quarantine room if needed.”
And it may be needed, because with two young children in the house, keeping germs at bay won’t be easy.
For the first while, Macee, who is six, will go to school and Piper, 19 months, will go to daycare. Carly has taken time off from her job as a teacher to care for her husband.
As a father, Billy said, “This sucks. I have to wipe my children down with disinfectant. They can’t kiss me. It sucks. I’m a dad.”
Macee knows what’s going on, but she doesn’t know there’s a chance her dad might not make it through.
“She’s not old enough to know that part,” he said. “She knows the doctor needs to make me really sick before I can get better.”
He recalled coming home from the hospital recently and laying on the couch. Macee brought a towel to him and was trying to keep him cool and comfortable.
“We’ve been prepping her for a while now that dad’s going to lose his hair and be sick,” Mr. Harris said.
He is glad Macee has learned to express herself.
“She’s been able to say, ‘daddy, I’m scared,’ or ‘what is the doctor saying’ or ‘are you going to be ok.’ I’ve been getting a lot more attention from her, she’s concerned,” he said.
However, toddler Piper is a whole different story.
“She’s trundling through life making a disaster wherever she goes,” he said laughing as he holds his hands out to show the toys strewn about the livingroom.
As for his wife, “Carly’s dealing with it. She’s tough. She deals with things internally, but she’s getting better at talking to me about it all.”
Billy and Carly have both agreed they will not prophesize about the outcome. There is no crystal ball to look into, he said.
“We’ll take things day by day and we don’t look too far into the future,” he said.
“I know she’s scared.”
Once the chemo is completed, which is expected to happen sometime in September, discussion will take place regarding surgery. If the tumours react as they should, they will shrink and the lymph nodes will be pulled from his face and neck.
Billy admits he’s scared. A champion kayaker, he knows how to talk to himself in difficult, and yes, sometimes scary situations.
“The quality of your life is the quality of the communication you have with yourself about any given situation,” he said. “It’s so apropos. If you can control the quality of the communication you have with yourself, you can ultimately control the outcome.
“But, I’m human. I get pulled back and forth by the emotions. Just because I have a good reference on it, doesn’t mean I’m doing it particularly well.
“I try to stand back and be a spectator to it. I fight back and forth every once in a while.”
Billy said it’s important not to go down into the rabbit hole of negativity.
“I’m doing my very best not to go there. I have to stay super positive and trust that science will prevail.”
Billy knows he’s not a “particularly religious guy,” but he does believe in science, which is where his oncologist and doctors come in.
“I’m in good hands,” he said. “It’s up to science now and all I can do is make sure I don’t get sick, make sure I don’t get injured and make sure my children don’t poison me with their diseases they bring home from school.”
Community helps out
The one thing Billy didn’t plan on was the help from the community. Owner of Arborist Tree Service, he makes a year’s income in six months. Those six months are the ones he will be not be able to do anything.
“Bill Leslie is taking care of the business,” Billy said. “He’s stepped up to something he’s not comfortable with.”
He has been working for Billy for about five years, and has now taken over as lead climber and hired someone else to help him.
“He’s got a good base,” Billy said. “He’s like me, because he comes from a risk management background in whitewater rafting and kayaking. He knows how to mitigate risk and can take a dangerous situation and make it the best he can.
“He’s taken over the entire business, which is amazing,” Billy said. “Otherwise I would have had to shut it down.
“He could have just gone rafting and been a guide on the river – but he didn’t. He’s sticking it out with me. And it’s not an easy path. He didn’t have to do this. I’m glad he’s doing it and hopefully that will bring me enough income to survive the winter.”
But the community is also pulling together.
When word began spreading about Billy’s diagnosis, “the community went nuts,” he recalled. “My friends piled in and tried to do what they could to help out.”
The food brought to the house to ensure his family eats while they are dealing with this difficult situation is wonderful, he said.
Billy choked up when he spoke about the gofundme page that was started for he and his family. There is currently $35,000 in the account.
“That’s incredible,” he said. “And it’s not just from the local community, but it’s also those in the kayaking community, the business community.”
A fundraiser is being held in the upstairs hall at the Astrolabe Arena in Cobden on Saturday, May 26 from 7:30 p.m. until 1 a.m. Tickets are $10 and there will be live music from local entertainers, and various games, including toonie toss, best poker hand, silent auction, 50/50 draw and more. Tickets are available at Jamieson Travel, Pronto/Milano’s and any Whitewater Region firefighter.
While Billy is hopeful of attending, it will depend on where he is in his treatment at that time, which will only be about three days after his second chemo treatment.
“I’d really like to say thank you to everybody in person,” he said. “Their efforts have made my life easier, allowed me to focus on trying to remain healthy. I’m profoundly grateful. But, ultimately, I don’t think I’ll be able to go.”
Holding up a pink water bottle with black marker writing on it, Billy smiled as he recalled where it came from.
A teacher he knows brought him a bag of goodies to take with him to the hospital.
“My first thought was, great, another bag to carry.”
But, when he opened it, the goodies included this pink water bottle, which is great because he has to drink at least two of them a day, and three during chemo. It also held a quilt, “to keep me warm and cozy when I go through treatments,” little booklets to read, mints and ginger ale.
Billy said there is so much good in the community, in the world, and yet, much of what’s on the news is horrible.
“I hate watching the news, but man, spend any time in this community, Whitewater Region is amazing, there are so many nice people. We need to hear more about the good people.
“Everyone has been so awesome.
“We are just grateful to everybody,” Billy said. “The amount of support is amazing. It’s out of control.
“I am a very grateful human being and however this turns out, I’ll always be grateful for what everybody’s done for my family.”
Billy said, “It’s uncomfortable. You join the fire department, not to get help, you join the fire department to give help, to help the people in your community.
“I never really anticipated the community would return in kind like it has. It’s one thing to have a few people drop off cards, it’s another to open a gofundme account.
“It’s hard to take help. I like helping people. It’s always hard to ask for help.”
