When an unwanted memory intrudes on the mind, it is a natural human reaction to want to block it out.
Painful, embarrassing, or traumatic memories have an annoying habit of accumulating over the course of an average lifetime. As Courtney Miller, professor at a Research Centre puts it, “Our memories make us who we are but can make life very difficult.”
In early days in Toronto, we lived in a high-rise condominium. Feeling energetic after work one day, I decided to try the stairs. Reaching my suite I walked in and sat down quickly as I was out of breath from the stairwell climb. The living room layout seemed a little off but just then I heard footsteps coming from the bedroom area. “Oh my god, who are you?’ I said rising to my feet. She lashed back, “I live here idiot. Who the hell are you?” I was on the wrong floor! I was so embarrassed. That is one bad memory I can’t shake.
Eventually scientists have discovered a drug that could erase fearful memories in humans. The method, using existing blood pressure pills, could be useful for weakening or erasing bad memories in people with post-traumatic stress disorder, so the researchers say.
My cousin, when he got his first apartment took a girl as a roommate. His mother was coming for a visit. He knew she wouldn’t approve of this arrangement at all. He maintained that they were good friends with separate lives and each had their own bedroom. After the mother left, the roommate noticed a silver platter was missing. A search was undertaken with no luck. The roommate wondered if his mother could have taken it! So he emailed his mom saying, “I’m not accusing you but the silver platter has been missing ever since your visit.” She replied, “I’m not saying whether you do sleep with your roommate or that you don’t, but if she was sleeping in her own bed the platter would have been found under the pillow.”
A Grade 9 high school memory is a keeper. A geography class was being taught by a very nervous and unpredictable teacher. I had turned to talk to another student. He noticed, came down where I was and hit me over the bed with the largest book he had available. My rhythm was broken as if in an unrehearsed play. I went off balance and purposely drifted to the floor, rolling onto my back, lying still as a rock. Right on cue another student shouted “He’s dead!” The already shaken teacher went into a frenzy, “What will I do, he’s dead. What will I do?” At that moment, I opened my eyes and raised my head then looked him in the eye. I don’t know whether he was relieved or more stressed out. The remainder of the class was cancelled and I became a hero to my classmates.
There’s apparently a natural way to rid yourself of bad memories, too. A study involving brain scans found that test subjects had the ability to suppress specific memories at a particular moment in time through repeated practice. However, other research has shown that bad ones persist longer than good ones.
One time I revealed confidential information about my company being sold that only management were told of. That evening after a sister-in-law dropped in, I told her and my wife the news. My sister-in-law was on her evening job of replenishing ATM’s for a bank when she happened to run across an old friend. She learned from the friend who coincidently worked where I did and so naturally mentioned about the company being sold. That was a stunning shock to my friend and by morning the news had spread like wildfire.
Before I reached my desk I was asked about it. I immediately went to The VP’s office to explain how it came about and offered my resignation. For a man who never swore he did then, for about 5 minutes. Then he recovered and calmly told me not worry. He proceeded to call a company-wide meeting to explain. The company didn’t get sold at that time ant not until many years later. And for all these years since, I still shudder with fear and embarrassment.
If something frightens us when we are younger, the memory of that event can become a little more frightening each time we recall it, leading to a fear that may be out of proportion with the real event. I figure this has occurred with my traumatic experience.
