I was chatting with a friend the other day when the topic of doing household chores cropped up. We both were under the impression that guys don’t get nearly enough credit for their efforts. This is because the ones who give out the credits for our being domesticated are the women.
Women tend to believe that domestic things should be done in a certain way without fail as if cleaning was a battlefield and victory the goal, defined as ‘not the way guys do them’. I have a perfect example of this type of thinking. When I get pressured or occasionally volunteer for vacuuming the floors, I don’t get hung up on meaningless manoeuvers like moving furniture aside – only when she is watching. I’m not allowed to run the clothes washer because of additive mix-ups previously but the dryer is okay since I only have to load the washed clothes. My friend chuckled and followed up with, “When I dust furniture, I ignore the bottom shelves and anything else over my wife’s eye-level. She is rather short so it works to my advantage.” I thought that was so cool.
Speaking of which, what this country needs is an Institute of ‘Guy Domestic Research’, where guy scientists wearing white laboratory coats dappled with food stains can conduct experiments to answer the household questions that concern guys, such as: If you leave your used underwear in the freezer for a week, is that as good as laundering it? Or would a little dash of Old Spice help to make it cleaner?
But getting back to the main point: Guys are sometimes accused of not having a domestic ‘flair’ just because they tend to adorn a room with TV remotes, half-filled glasses and soggy socks or maybe leave toaster crumbs on the kitchen countertop. An over-turned floor-carpet can be stepped over or walked around easily. A newspaper scattered out on the kitchen table can’t be read in a few minutes so why not leave in place until it is finished. No, she says, “What if somebody drops in.” I really don’t care if it were the Queen or the Mayor!
When my friend mentioned there were personal matters too, I wanted to take off but wasn’t fast enough. He said one problem was about fiscal responsibility. He is practical and pays close attention to details, keeping careful records of how money is spent. His wife apparently didn’t or didn’t care, running over-budget frequently. When I mentioned that old joke:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, because it’s on sale,
….. he didn’t find it amusing at all, instead he looked like a deflated balloon. I thought a moment and when I suggested, “Keep a second account for just yourself so the shopping sprees can’t screw up your credit rating.” He figured that was a good idea.
As an opportunist so eager for my advice, he wondered if they might be incompatible because of their differences. As long as they aren’t ‘irreconcilable differences’, I said. I told him that opposites attract and that is what keeps a marriage both mysterious and sometimes sexy if the cards fall right. And if you want to stay out of that doghouse, there are a few tips to consider. “One, always speak directly to your spouse and don’t try to send a message by having fake conversations with your dog or cat and pretending she isn’t in the room (i.e. Hey Rover, we wouldn’t have been late if she hadn’t answered the phone), etc. I can’t cure my habit because I’ve done it for so long that it would appear abnormal to my partner if I didn’t operate this way. Besides, nobody ever had the heart to say it was just plain stupid!
Then there is that one when guys don’t see the harm in telling her about the gift he almost got her. Although it’s nice that you were thinking of her, but is much nicer if you had brought her a present. Furthermore, she will resent you for saying it, sometimes the silent treatment for days. Finally, accept that she must have the last word in any argument. Anything you say after that… is the beginning of a new argument.
Our discussion took an unwanted twist when he asked if it was better to sweet-talk or be assertive with his woman when bedroom activities were his intention. I replied, “I have no idea what works, if anything at all. But, always be ready to react spontaneously and forget all about your great expectations.”
With that final quip, I was out of there, my sixth sense reminding me again that I have no idea whatsoever how it’s possible to predict a woman’s wants.
