I had a dream about a murder. After watching ‘Murder on the Orient Express’ earlier that evening, the movie must have planted the seed. In it, I was one of the suspects that ‘Hercules Preriot’, the eminent detective, was suspicious of for killing someone. I was very uncomfortable about it but as it happens, I woke up before the detective’s final verdict. Later, I considered the murder mystery (Murder at Curst Mansion) being presented at the Westmeath Hall next week, where I, as one of the actors, will be suspected of being the murderer. What if my dream was an omen of me being branded the killer in that mystery show?
Only in a civilization where some are allowed to “get away with murder” (so to speak) does anyone have any reason to be suspicious of others. When we know there are people out there who try to get away with anything — Bernie Madoff and Earl Jones come to mind with their elaborate Ponzi scheme — there is understandably suspicion in hindsight. I never had the finances to invest anyway, so I was spared the agony of being scammed!
Being overly suspicious of other people can lead toward cynicism and will limit the development of relationships. One time I loaned a good friend a tidy sum of money with an open-ended pay-me-back date. I know that trusting everybody is sometimes naïve, as I also know that being suspicious is not that uncommon too. In the case of this loan, weeks and months went by and I became uneasy that the money had vanished. I conjured up appalling images of my former friend – untrustworthy, nefarious, and much more! Then one day out of the blue, I received an envelope. In it was the full amount of the loan. I felt so narrow-minded! I wondered if this was the portent of a weakness in myself, remains to be seen?
It is evident that being suspicious of everyone at first only makes them cautious with you; the effort to earn their trust now much more of a challenge. Growing up in Westmeath was so different in those days; it was an idyllic atmosphere to learn how to trust. Quite informal — everything guaranteed with a handshake. Failure to not keep a promise meant a sensation like standing in a long line for a long time then realizing it’s the wrong line. Being in the ‘bad books’ with one person likely meant others would be annoyed too.
If you do trust someone initially, it doesn’t mean you must believe all what they say. Listen respectively — it may be incorrect according to your understanding of it from information you have gathered. Consequently, you can become more accepting of people’s individual differences for further dialogue and without judgement. Think of it: If the bizarre Kim of North Korea and the volatile Trump of United States can meet and be more appreciative of each other’s views on nuclear arms when they meet in May, there could be a possibility of the world of being safer!
I got sucked in big-time after I signed up for a house alarm system. It was in vogue following a series of break-ins in the Toronto neighbourhood I lived in. The contract was a five-year one. Two years later I relocated to Wasaga Beach. The security alarm contract was not cancellable or relocatable like I figured it would be. I had to pay monthly fees for the next three years. Recently door-to-door sales people of certain products have been outlawed. That beginning helps to ease my qualms slightly!
Sheila is rather suspicious of certain things. For example, she doesn’t believe my housekeeping is up to scratch, she also thinks Hydro One is ripping her off and believe it or not, she puts a pillow between us in our bed at night in case I try to cross the line. After the other morning, my distrustful meter rose a couple of notches due to an unusual activity in our home. Our cat Peanut was playing with my running shoe for over an hour. Sheila out of curiosity, picked up the shoe and stuck her hand into it see what was there. A mouse bit her finger and ran off. It is still loose!
To not be overly suspicious in my mind is analogous to staying on a diet, it works – for brief periods at a time.
