An embarrassing faux pas last Friday in a reputable grocery store has taught me to think, not once, but twice, before I act impulsively again.
I was in a Metro store in Bells Corners hanging about while my partner Sheila was picking up some last-minute items before heading for home. I spotted the shopping cart first, with what I believed to be two 14” lemon pies, thick ones too, one on top of the other in the cart. Not being too partial to lemon must have driven me to react so spontaneously. I rushed to the cart, clamped both hands along its edge and said rather roughly, “What the hell is going on here?” When a voice brusque replied, “I beg your pardon?” – I had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t Sheila’s. A tremor of fear came over me when I looked at this woman for the first time in my life. Her confrontational glare scared me even more when I realized what I had done. She said, “You scared the wits out of me. I thought you were a terrorist?” Anyway, I apologized over and over and explained that I just wanted to play a joke on my wife. I looked around for Sheila but she was nowhere in sight, making me look all the more suspicious in her mind.
Unintended consequences are outcomes that are not foreseen rather than the intended or expected action. The term was popularised by an American sociologist, Robert K. Merton.
A negative consequence was the FDA’s enormously destructive but unintended one with its regulation of pharmaceutical drugs. By requiring drugs to be safe but effective, it slowed down by years the introduction of each drug. Thus, many people died or suffered who would have been able to live or thrive otherwise.
On the other hand, the popular painkiller used mostly for headaches had a positive impact. It had a secondary benefit that led to the recommendation of some to take one every day regardless of a headache or not. One active ingredient in it worked as a great anticoagulant which aided heart health and prevented heart attacks.
I smile thinking about the time my ex got lost in downtown Oshawa where she then resided. Neither of us were that good with directions but she takes the cake. On this day she has an appointment across town but upon returning, made a wrong turn and ended up in downtown Oshawa. Panic set in and not knowing what to do, she called 911. An officer arrived to hear her statement, “I’m lost and I don’t know how to get home.” After a severe lecture to never call again about being lost in the middle of a city, the officer felt some remorse and led her home.
The Westmeath community yard sale last spring saw a rather unexpected turnabout. A friend and his wife brought a sofa to sell and were determined to get a fair offer rather than cart it back home. It was in fine condition for its age — nothing to be jeered at. The friend, in his zeal to move it along, asked anyone nearby, including other vendors if they would be interested in it. He rattled my chain at least three or four times. I said I would buy it if it would suit my décor at home. I explained, “It’s not possible because the colours would clash.” Near the end of the day, this lady from a nearby farm that sold them eggs came by their table and expressed an interest. She jokingly said, “I could trade you two frozen chickens for it.” His wife was taken aback, but retorted, “Three and the sofa is yours.” A deal was struck and that barter system of old resurfaced, working just as slickly as ever.
One bizarre situation that happened to Sheila is almost unbelievable. A few years ago over in Pembroke and with time between appointments, she decided to drop in and surprize her ex-husband that she hadn’t seen in more than 30 years. She knocked on his door and was invited in. They chatted for a few minutes when she asked to use the washroom. Upon her return, the conversation resumed. Suddenly he said, “I should know you but I can’t recall your name.” She couldn’t believe they had been talking and he didn’t know who she was. When she said “Sheila” he said, “Oh my God.”
Unintended consequences are ironic: sometimes they make us laugh and sometimes they are tragic. In my case, just plain embarrassing.
