Was she a damsel in distress or a lady from hell? I would find out soon! This most curious situation occurred last Friday afternoon in a small shopping plaza in Bells Corners. I had let Sheila out at the Pet Store and was looking for a parking spot. Out of nowhere, an East Asian woman was at my window and frantically motioned me to stop. With her face crossing the plane of the window, she said, “You are an older man so I can trust you. Can you give me a ride home? My daughter has locked herself out of the house and I need to let her in.” I thought that she must be either desperate or brazen or both but did reply back to her, “I guess so but I have to tell my partner.” We both caught up to Sheila just as she was about to enter Fresco. This lady was beside us too like a bad dream you couldn’t awake from. She repeated her story and even invited Sheila to come too as if she was the one in charge of the situation. Sheila wisely asked where she lived and how long it would take. She motioned down the road casually and said about 10 minutes. “That’s how long I will be in the store,” Sheila responded. The afternoon was a hot humid one, yet the lady looked overdressed, clad in a bulky knit sweater and saggy baggy blue jeans. I couldn’t picture either of us being attracted to the other, her so dowdy and me so old, so I put that temptation to bed. Could I have a fetish for damsels in distress, it has happened too many times before?
The two of us drove off according to her instructions but certainly not in the direction I had alleged it would be. The first and only thing she said when underway was, “If my husband knew I accepted a ride with a man he would accuse me of sleeping with him.” I responded with, “I sure hope I don’t get a chance to meet him then.” She immediately dove into her purse which startled me of course, got out her cell phone, not a weapon, and began talking to someone in a language most unfamiliar. We kept going and going, some roads I recognized, most I didn’t. Still on that phone, at each turn she would gesture wildly with her free hand, to the left or right – sometimes with little warning! Did she somehow figure I was her personal chauffeur? Some distance on the north side of 417 after crossing under it we entered Eagleson Road and continued to a neighborhood I guessed was west and north of Kanata central. It became nerve-wracking. Could she be involved in an arrangement for an heinous crime? She eventually madly signalled to pull into a side street, where she hopped out of the car before I was fully stopped and onto the sidewalk, still talking on her cell phone. There was no thankyou, kiss my butt, not even one word of appreciation coming from her indifferent vocal chords. As I slowly turned the car in a driveway to return to Bells Corners, I carefully scanned the immediate area to see if there was a younger girl wandering around but didn’t see a soul, only that lady still yakking on her cell.
My worst fears were not realized; like a gang waiting to steal my identification and my car or a deranged husband ready to beat me to smithereens or heavens forbid, an invitation from the lady to go into her house for a cup of coffee! No doubt, I was scammed good, scammed almost like a situation where Revenue Canada telephoned unsuspecting citizens demand an overdue payment or face jail time!
I had some trouble finding my way back to Bells Corners, asking directions only twice. Before arriving 55 minutes after I had left with the scheming lady from hell, problem number two was fearing Sheila’s wrath for being away so long with another woman. She was standing outside Fresco looking quite bewildered. I was bewildered too when I saw that she was so relieved that I hadn’t met up with foul play, she forgot to be irritated. We both kind of agreed that only a man could be a fool such as I!
Anyone can be stage-managed but to happen like it did was so exasperating. The irony of it all was that if we had waited the few minutes for Sheila, the lady could have been dropped off not far from her place while we on our way home to Westmeath.
Like many men I’m sure, I have been taken for a ride by a damsel in distress, once or twice for money as well. Maybe I got out of this situation a little lucky!
