by CONNIE TABBERT
Editor
RENFREW — The pain is now more intense. The headaches come more frequently. The 50-year-old woman lays in bed, eyes closed, an ice-pack keeping her head cooled.
If someone walks in and most times if they say anything, her eyes open and she smiles.
But, this day, her eyes open, and she scrunches her nose and takes in a deep breath. As the visitor leans over the bed, the woman very quietly says, “headache.”
Patsy Moore has been in this bed at Hospice Renfrew since Saturday, Jan. 7. Concerned for her welfare after hearing she had fallen and didn’t seem to have strength, her sister Mary Martel travelled from Sudbury to Patsy’s home near Cobden. She called the doctor and following a quick conference, it’s agreed – the time has come for Patsy to be admitted to hospice.
“She has the best room, the best view, and we’re all treated like family,” Mary said. “The people here are unbelievable.”
But, this admittance is only after a 20-year on-and-off battle with cancer. However, it appears this time cancer will win.
This is Patsy’s fourth battle with the Big C. The first two times was breast cancer, then it was a cancerous lump in her neck, and now, the breast cancer has developed into cancer in nine bones in her body, as well as developing three tumours in her brain.
“She was 30 years old when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer,” said Mary. “The fourth diagnosis was in June 2015.”
To deal with it, Patsy spoke about the disease affecting her to anyone who would listen. Speaking about it has helped her survive and fight these many years, Mary said.
“She had to share it to accept it,” she said adding, “There were times when (Patsy) was angry and she did ask, why me? But, there was never an answer.
“She’s battled because of her friends and family and the faith they have in her. They want her to fight more. She’ll be 51 in August.”
Mary said being at Hospice Renfrew is almost better than being at home, because Patsy is so well looked after, she only has to be a sister and give comfort to her sister.
“Everyone here looks after her,” she said. “They take care of her meds and getting her food.
“I’m relieved knowing Patsy’s comfortable and not in pain.”
When anyone comes to visit Patsy, and there has been a lot of company, Mary said that is also her medicine.
“She keeps her door open to hear people talking,” she said. “When they come to visit, no matter what time, if you could see her face, it cheers her right up.
“(Patsy) may only talk a few sentences, but she knows you are here.”
Mary said she knew Patsy was well-liked in Cobden and the area, and was slightly surprised to find out just how many people like her. She knows Patsy was one of those people who would help anyone at any time – and now they are helping her.
“Someone is looking after picking up Patsy’s mail; someone else is cleaning her driveway; when she was at home, they were bringing her food; and there’s a list of people who want to help her,” Mary said. “They don’t see helping her as a chore. They want to help her, like it’s a blessing to help her.”
A Cobden and Whitewater Region municipal employee for more than 25 years, Mary said her co-workers have been in several times to make sure she’s doing ok. It was also some of those employees who gave up their sick time so Patsy could have more time off during her battle with the Big C over the years.
And that’s why Mary is having a hard time believing in Karma.
“Patsy has bent over backwards to help people and now she’s here in hospice,” she said.
And while Patsy looks fine, even though she’s in hospice, Mary tears up because she knows Patsy will never be able to go back to her Cobden home.
“She’s lost the use of her legs, she’s bed-ridden,” Mary says, adding, “She won’t be coming home. She will die because of the tumours or her heart giving out,” she says, wiping tears from her eyes, adding, “There’s no answer.”
However, for some reason, Mary says, “There’s a little bit of fight in her. I don’t know why.”
Mary has been with Patsy at Hospice Renfrew since she was admitted, except for four days when she went to her home in Sudbury.
“It’s a gift,” she said. “I get to share her time. I want to be here. I’m making her comfortable, getting her a juice.”
Mary is happy when friends come to visit Patsy.
“I see her face light up when they come in,” she said. “She wants to know what’s going on.
“I can’t call her friends friends, because they’re more like family.
“Who has this many friends – and makes time for them all,” Mary added.
Mary thanks everyone who has supported Patsy in any way, and especially during this final battle.
Patsy battled this final bout of cancer for one-and-a-half years before deciding she had to slow down. She only quit work five months ago, Mary said.
But Mary said, it’s not just Patsy the staff and volunteers take care of. Every time there has been an issue, or difficult time, they take the time to listen to her.
“They’re never rushed,” she said. “They make sure you know you’re not alone.”
As well, there are other families who have a loved one at hospice, and they talk to other families, as they meet in the hallway, or the livingroom or kitchen.
“This is the best place to be for now,” Mary says, adding, “I can’t believe this is such a nice place, it’s so welcoming. The volunteers and staff are amazing.”
Hospice Renfrew
Hospice Renfrew is a six-bed residential palliative care home. It provides services, free of charge, to all residents of Renfrew County and the surrounding area. Hospice provides full-time 24/7 nursing care in a home-like and tranquil environment. Its expert palliative care team provides physical, emotional and spiritual support. Friends and families are welcome to be part of a compassionate end-of-life care that celebrates life.
Hospice Renfrew offers pain and symptom management as well as palliative respite.
For more information about Hospice Renfrew, call 613-433-3993 ext. 2235.
