In high finances, the name “bear hug” reflects the persuasiveness of one company to takeover another with such a generous offer, it can’t be refused legally because it’s obligated to look out for the best interests of its shareholders. There is a totally different concept of a bear hug which I will describe.
My first encounter with a bear hug was totally unforeseen. Some of us guys were at the Westmeath Hall setting up tables for an event. I was suddenly accosted by one of them grasping me with such a terrifying hold that I could feel two heartbeats, one slow and the other fast (mine) but couldn’t escape it. As it continued, embarrassment set in but the release didn’t ebb. Finally, this sense of relief enveloped me completely, one that dissolved all my fears and frustrations into oblivion.
I was puzzled and asked why he grabbed me. He said, “Because I noticed you were frustrated I gave you a big hug to chase the frustration away.” He went on to explain how he was a hugger extraordinaire and was always available to hug or be hugged. It was in his DNA, he said. I didn’t reply but was quite curious about the effect it did have on me.
I found out afterwards that a bear hug means someone wants to protect you or make you feel better when you are feeling down. A hug like that can indicate support, comfort, and consolation, particularly where words are insufficient.
I’ve never had a deference for hugging, maybe because it wasn’t openly practiced all that much in my family. Or maybe it was that time long ago when I spotted my girlfriend in the pharmacy, went behind her, put my arms around her and squeezed as to expel her last breath of air. That’s when she panicked. Then I did too – It was the wrong girl.
After some harsh words and an uncompromising lecture from her father I’ve been a little skittish about the whole idea of intimacy in public. Coincidentally, my sister told me about her and our Dad hugging secretly over the years when she dropped in to see him. “It meant so much to him and me too”. I almost couldn’t believe it. I was a little envious as I had never really hugged my Dad and now it was too late. She was quite emphatic how good hugs can be so liberating.
I know on certain occasions that men and women are expected to hug when they meet. I try to avoid the men at all costs but women I couldn’t because it might be viewed as rudeness. I have my own method to counter this type of hugging however. I hug but I lean in and keep our torsos apart as much as I can. They probably wonder what the heck is wrong me! I’m beginning to question myself too. It does have the potential to be warm and cozy so I began practicing with Sheila. She didn’t mind at all, only saying, “Why now?”
I’m waiting on the opportunity to try it with a couple of women friends, ‘friends’ only in case I mess it up. I’ve had a male buddy for decades that I meet once or twice a year. He goes for the hugs while I’m getting prepared to squirm out of his grasp as best I can. But if I do take the initiative, do I put one arm on the shoulder and one on the back or both arms around the neck?
January 21 is ‘national hugging day’ so I should get on with it soon. Celebrities and those Hollywood hangers-on hug everybody in sight, even if they’ve never met. Professional athletes do a lot of hugging too for any little occasion often awkwardly, usually followed with a butt slap. That may be taking it a little far for us average guys. I had a few of those slaps myself from females but never knew whether to feel insulted or elated. I guess it depended on who it was?
So I’m working up the courage to start
hugging in the near future. I think my first encounter will be the guy who gave
me the bear hug. Otherwise, if he got me twice in a row it could become a habit
for him.
