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Caregiver or Caretaker?

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Back in September, 2002 I got Covid when I was taking photos for the Whitewater Historical Society’s anniversary party in the Westmeath Recreation Hall. The next evening I felt as sick as a dog. For nearly three days I could only digest ginger ale (holding the can between both hands). My vitality had left me too. I remember as a kid whenever I got sick, my mother always ran for ginger ale. I guess there is something to it. The next day I wanted to try a more substantial food. It was a heaping plate of frozen French Fries right from the microwave. Eat your heart out you McDonald dreamers!

Then the proverbial ‘You know what’ hit the fan.’ Sheila got it next and was so upset with me. She blamed me for not wearing a mask at the Hall and bringing it home, repeatedly until her voice was a raspy whisper. Somebody up their must be kind because we have a bed on two different floors. I felt safer as she hadn’t the energy to climb the stairs.

We were finally over it but Sheila never regained her stamina. At least not enough to catch me. Over the next few months she stopped driving less and depended on me to go shopping with her but make the decisions about what to buy. I didn’t like that part of it. I noticed though that one or two other shoppers would ask if she needed any help. She would say she has someone to help but when she turned I was lagging behind.

It was around that time that I started reading about caregiving and caretakers.

Both gave me the willies and I didn’t want to consider either as a possibility. Although “to give” and “to take” describe opposite actions, caregiver and caretaker both mean “a person who provides care and attention.” In the dictionary it says, a Caretakerusually is described as someone employed to look after goods, property, persons or animals. The Caregiver refers to a family member, friend or a professional who provides care and support for a child or a dependent adult.

Sheila was so exhausted by year-end that Christmas and New Years meant absolutely nothing at our house. Chicken breasts for Christmas and I don’ remember what it was at New Years.

January brought Sheila to point of coughing so loud I would plug my ears when I could. It was nearly impossible to follow news on TV.

By this time I was doing the shopping by myself. It wasn’t really a problem. Since I am now doing most of the cooking I get to eat what wanted to. Sheila phoned the ambulance herself on Jan 31st. Two paramedics came and soon instruments were hooked onto her from the top of her head to her bum. They looked at me and said, “I should have called sooner.” I kept my mouth shut.

She was deposited in the ER and then moved to an isolated room. She had exacerbated COPD and RVS, that respiratory virus. I had come up with a system set to organize the house while she was away but a call at noon on Friday after four days to pick her to bring home put the damper on that.

Once home she was so exhausted, she had to have one sleep before lunch , two after lunch and in bed by 7 pm. Her transportation around the house was a walker that was in storage. The walker was parked beside the bed when was in bed or at the table or anywhere she was. I had the whole evening to myself as I don’t go until midnight. That’s when I relaxed from being a caregiver or caretaker or whatever it was. Would be hockey tonight or a movie on Netflix!

I guess I was a family caregiver to take care of an older person within the home environment. Once the learning curve is over it is a fulfilling experience that is full of

rewards beyond the responsibilities one takes up.

I must admit that she was a pretty good patient. I picked up some skills at cooking, kept the house relatively neat and even learned the clothes washing machine routine.

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