My partner Sheila has a niche reserved for her ashes. It is paid for and located at a mausoleum in Ottawa. Being a double-unit (one for two), she hasn’t decided who would join her yet. It might be her son but which one, she has two. It could be herself only, but that would be a waste of money and difficult to imagine as she is quite tight-fisted and not only with money. Nothing can be wasted in our house, not even the last dab of a peanut butter jar, all of which was a major shock to the way I was used to. She has deliberated about me being in the niche to keep her company occasionally but then muses, “We have been engaged for five years but not married, so I’ll have to think about it.” I’m sure the silenced wedding bells will strike again — until I propose some action!
Cremation, rather than the traditional burying of the dead in gravesites, better known as the six feet under way, has been on the rise, not only in Canada at 65 percent of the time, but in most of the world. In the United States it has reached 50 percent while the average in East Asia is 80 percent. Japan is 98 percent where very few escape but China only 50 percent — maybe too many losses to keep up with! Most of Europe is higher too, except for Poland and Ireland stuck at less than 10 percent. Jews increasingly choose to be cremated despite Jewish law and thousands of years of tradition. On the other hand, Muslims forbid cremation.
Not having a gravesite means no loved one to call on. Although a different experience for everyone, it is comparable to the six degrees of separation theory. The graveyard is an ideal opportunity to talk to someone who knew you, can listen to you and can keep a secret. Occasionally, a message is intuitively heard that might change your future for the best!
In the cities, interment usually means a concrete vault lowered into a three-foot by eight-foot grave for the placement of the body. Two-grave lots are becoming fashionable; the male gets the left-side of it unless otherwise specified. Another option is a crypt to stockpile the entire casket in an above-ground abode. I can’t postpone my death until I raise enough cash, so an expensive crypt is not in the books.
After much fastidiousness regarding a location, Michael Jackson’s body was laid to rest at the star-studded Great Mausoleum in Los Angeles in an upscale crypt in a gallant cemetery and home to legendary stars like Clark Gable and Jean Harlow. Also buried in the cemetery are two of his lifelong heroes, Walt Disney and Larry Fine, one of the Three Stooges. The cemetery manager said, “We imagine this site will gather much attention and reverence from his fans for many years to come.”
The placement of the cremated remains offers some options. The urn could be tucked from sight into a niche with the name attached saying “In Memoriam” or one of several methods of scattering ashes. Whether the remains are tossed into the wind from a rooftop or Whitewater Lookout, remember to scatter downwind or they will fly back to haunt you. Water scattering is to place the remains into a body of water. An urn is recommended otherwise the remains can blow into your face or wash up onto the side of the boat, which is often traumatic and really not the everlasting peaceful memory envisioned. ‘Daddy’s ashes didn’t mark the spot – will he know‘? Air scattering is best performed by professional pilots. Special features on the airplane are designed to handle cremated remains. This procedure allows the arrangement for family and friends to be on the ground to watch a plume of ashes drift from the overhead plane until out of sight.
Considering all options done to my body after my last breath, I decided without hesitation or reservation to be cremated. If not welcomed into Sheila’s niche to lie next to her for longevity (I prefer the right side), at least time enough for the honeymoon period we never had or else, my ashes to be rushed to the back door of my house and merely tossed outside with the wind either facing or not facing the door and then promptly forgotten about. Either way, ending up in a storage vault or thrown away with resolve, I will rest in peace forever.
