I enjoy grocery shopping, with or without my partner, especially when things got as interesting like they did a couple of days ago.
It was at a Metro store in Bells Corners where we stopped to pick up a few items. I had control of the shopping cart and was near the tomato bins when Sheila called from another aisle about the fresh cherries. I wheeled around and backed up flush into the front-side of a young woman. This unforeseen encounter seemed rather intimate as I felt the caress of her bosom against my back. For a fleeting moment, I imagined it was Mylly Cyrus! Nursing that thought I turned to apologize but she was already apologizing to me.
I went to the cherries with a spring in my step, pinched a couple of them, no juice, so I figured they were fresh. Ten minutes later down by the apples, my imagination still not tempered, a woman noticed me struggling to open a clear plastic bag. She came over, sensuously took it from my trembling hands, showed me a miniature icon on the bag itself, rubbed that spot and presto the bag opened. I felt so noteworthy, due to either the woman’s courtesy or learning the secret of opening the bag? I lamented about not running across her years earlier. On four or five occasions, I had to ask a lady for help to open one of those bags. They didn’t mind at all as they were amused at my state of helplessness. The only downside at the store itself, besides Sheila telling me to wipe the grin off my face, was at the checkout. The clerk held up the cherries and said, “Do you really want these, they are $14.37?” I said. “Are you kidding, at that price please put them back.”
Accidents can and do happen at supermarkets, like lacerations from damaged grocery carts, tripping over obstructions or even getting nailed by items falling off the shelves. Or retrieving a cart with a broken wheel, impossible to keep on-course – it can easily hit a display or ram into another one.
I overheard a bitter argument one time between a couple over an item that one of them wanted but the other didn’t. I recalled that well known quote, “The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.” Fortunately, I was by myself and had no one to dispute anything with!
There was a time last year when Sheila’s cart mysteriously disappeared. She had come from the Dollar Store, put her purchases in a cart, went to look at produce, looked back and the buggy was missing. She walked that floor over twice searching for her parcels, finally getting two staff involved in the hunt as well. The cart was found 30 minutes later, discarded near a check-out lane. Apparently, someone took the unattended cart, used it for their groceries and checked them out at the cashier before the cart was abandoned with the Dollar Store items still in it.
I felt singled out the time I mistakenly took someone else’s cart. Suddenly I heard a woman screeching, “Bring back my purse,” I instantly realized what had happened. After I soft-soaped her and convinced her I wasn’t stealing her money she forgave me.
One time in Toronto I was doing the groceries alone on a Saturday afternoon. The store had a car pickup for grocery bins. First, I did a few things in the Mall then went home but forgot the groceries. I returned too late: The store and pick-up areas were locked for the night. Returning the next morning for my plastic bins, three were there but only two were mine. “You might as well take all three, no one called about a missing one,” the loader said. So, I did and discovered at home that the third bin contained mostly meat cuts. Being a practical guy, I put what I could in the freezer and planned out the week’s menu with the balance. I hope the person who got my bin appreciated what it contained; soft drinks, a mix of chunky soups and a bag of new potatoes.
Sometimes I feel like giving up shopping but I’m not a quitter. Saying that, it is really a perfect forum for theatrics, finding bargains and flirting with strangers.
