It seems like forever, all the advice given by the pundits was to live our lives to the fullest and stretch for greatness whether it be a career, sports, interests or partying – just by maximizing ourselves for personal gain. But lately the pendulum is swinging back. Instead of pursuing excellence there is merit just for being mediocre.
If you are stressed about becoming the top dog of your class – and feeling miserable when you fall short, you’re not alone. Philosophers more and more are telling us that the more we pursue excellence… the more our lives will be wretched.
During my working years, I was eventually promoted to a manager. That was satisfactory but not for long. I realized in a way that the social distancing from my former teammates meant less noon-hour lunches, less golf invitations on the weekends and so on. My worst fear came true when my employer downsized and I had to eliminate a position. If I didn’t have the guts to take care of it, my boss would have shown me the door.
Now both retired, I have a friend down the road who fills his days to the brim with a wide arrangement of activities. Whether it’s hunting or fishing, listening to all genres of music, making videos of himself singing (I thought to myself – ‘stick to fishing’), lecturing on photography, trying to sell photos, kite-flying, maneuvering a drone and or writing a soccer column, he has set a tight schedule. Despite all this juggling he can even cram in the time to see a movie in Ottawa on the big screen or go south on a vacation. Every single day is so stacked that on some days he can barely eke everything in so that he can start fresh the day. I can imagine how the pace of his life might be overwhelming. Doing too much and rushing around in an effort to get it all done has to be stressful.
When asked how he keeps up with everything, he said, ”I wish I could explain but being so busy I can’t find the time to tell you.” Many of my friend’s interests, I too would like to get involved with some but I get a little panicky and worry about becoming addicted to being busy. Sometimes I’m envious but honestly I’m content to be balanced as a seesaw dividing my time between community needs and the advantages of home.
Many people would prefer to be unique in a bad way, than to be normal in a good way. This need for uniqueness is a steadily-rising symptom of egoism. In the 1950’s, only 12 percent of college students described themselves as “an important person”; by the 1980’s, the figure had risen to 80 percent. Feeling better about being average translates into self-awareness, far better than over-confident delusions.
I guess people think of me as just being average all the time. I have an average retirement, drive an average car and attend social dinners and dances with the rest of the ‘average folk.’ I even write an average column for the Whitewater News. Always hoping for a breakthrough with the Globe and Mail or even the Ottawa Sun, the average odds say it will never happen.
Social media tells us that it’s not okay to be average. If you’re not traveling, trying out the latest product, attending an event with thousands of people or running a marathon then there’s something wrong with us. Right? Wrong. Being average is perfectly fine. So, if the pursuit of happiness is important – then avoid the temptation!
Consider the giraffe: This very badly designed animal is unable to lie down, even gives birth standing, so that its calf ends up dropping to the hard ground. Yet its species has survived millions of years. Instead of excellence, it proves that mediocrity can also work in nature.
And now that my friend and I both home-isolated by COVID-19, we are for the first time on a level playing field. While having no hard deadlines to speak of, we both can appreciate the absences of daily commitments and appreciate the luxury of mediocrity like the giraffe has. Average is the new cool.
