Since I was a kid and the day my neighbour called me a ‘smart Alec’, I believed I was destined for success, not just an average Joe, but maybe an academic or a career that would leave a distinguishing mark. However, nothing was in the stars. Scanning a ‘Success Quiz’ article, I now have a clue why I didn’t advance to become a ‘highly successful person’ (HSP).
For example, one question asked: ‘If I took the time to learn the basics of new skills?’ Most people are cautious regarding a new task so they study the caveats before they begin, even reading the manual. To me that is odd, as I’m one to jump right in and get all the mistakes over with early on. One friend whose assignment was to arrange a guest speaker for a meeting and to introduce him to the audience went to great lengths to ensure the evening went smoothly. He arranged for others to arrive early to set-up 50 chairs or so for the audience -– one person could have handled it! He even had another dedicated as a greeter. He triple-checked weather forecasts (the weather wouldn’t have affected the turnout anyway), documented contingency plans and selected someone to critique his introduction beforehand. A great introduction is essential to getting the speaker off to a good start. I’m not saying this guy is a perfectionist by any means, maybe a little over-zealous, but he should be wary when prioritizing one project to focus on at the expense of another. The guest speaker’s talk went off without a hitch. However, I expect too many hours were taken up with unnecessary details. Never concerned with perfectionism, I could have accomplished as much by simply saying “Welcome to our group Mr. Speaker and thank you for being here.”
Another question inquired: ‘If I share my dreams?’ In ancient Egyptian culture dream sharing had a religious context. Those whose dreams were especially significant enjoyed a special status. This all changed with Sigmund Freud, who saw dreams as representations of unfulfilled wishes. I once shared a suggestive dream I had with a woman I knew. I revealed, “You invited me into your home and as we approached we surreptitiously found our arms around each other and had a lingering kiss.” My intention was meant to be only amusing to her but I noticed that her jaw tightened, her eyes dropped and like a robot slowly pivoted and left me standing there. We never spoke again. Freud would have labelled my dream as an unfulfilled desire, but it wasn’t. I guess the lady agreed with Freud!
‘When I am stressed do I spend time away from the task?’ I sure do. I toss it aside and select another one that is not so difficult and more pleasurable. Even Albert Schweitzer agreed with me. He said, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” So, I learned to minimize stress to maintain happiness. Sometimes it affected my attitude and consequently I lost a few good friends along the way for not compromising.
One question like: ‘Do I have to know how I’ll reach my goal before I take action?’ If I didn’t know the outcome of my intention, then why bother. I know that because so many goals were not achieved, some barely got off the drawing board. Most people I know are full of advice; read this book, watch this movie, try exercising more, etc. Are they looking out for my best interests or simply trying to reinforce the credibility of these ideas in their own mind? Life is funny that way. We are expected to think and act alike. One popular expression is, “Great minds think alike.” No, they don’t, and it would be a horrible state of affairs if they did. In fact, it is the dissimilarity that is the source of our progress and success as a species.
My need to be comfortable in my own skin and not conform as others expected, no doubt interfered with my chances for success or being famous, but if I had I couldn’t have done it my way.
