by CONNIE TABBERT
Editor
BEACHBURG — A small group of women gathered at the Beachburg site of the Whitewater Bromley Community Health Centre to celebrate International Women’s Day on Monday.
They enjoyed a potluck supper followed by a panel discussion of three local, successful business women — Bonnie Helferty of Helferty Insurance in Cobden, Julie Keon, a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant from Cobden and Natalie Frodsham of Exit Ottawa Valley Realty in Pembroke.
Jo Brooks from the Women’s Sexual Assault Centre in Pembroke moderated the event, asking each of the panellists three questions — after they each gave a brief introduction.
Ms. Helferty has been working for 40 years in the insurance business and has operated her own business for 24 of those years.
“I love my office, I love my clients, I love my job,” she said. “Sometimes I have to be pushed out the door to go home.”
In 2011 the local flower shop was closing, and knowing she wasn’t busy enough, Ms. Helferty purchased it.
“It keeps me busy,” she said.
She has also been on the Cobden and District Food Bank committee since 2002.
Ms. Keon creates meaningful and personal celebrations for life events. She has welcomed new babies, celebrated young women coming of age, marriages and funerals. While each event is special, she admitted performing a Croning Celebration for her mother was one of the more special celebrations.
“A Croning Celebration is when a woman is welcomed into her wise years,” Ms. Keon said.
Ms. Frodsham is a broker and has been selling real estate for the past 11 years.
“The agents are my clients, but I do sell real estate as well,” she said.
The first question asked was “What is the most important lessons learned in operating your own business?”
Ms. Keon said she is her own boss and has no employees. She said it’s important women come from a place of abundance as opposed to fear.
Explaining, she said, “Welcome competition and be secure knowing you will do well. If you think positive, the clients will come.
“Be creative and take risks,” Ms. Keon said, adding, “But don’t be reckless.”
While she has received much advice and support, she can recall many people telling her not to do this or that and to go back to school for more education.
“I made good decisions and listened to my gut,” Ms. Keon said.
She stressed the importance of not talking poorly about other people.
“Always talk to others with the understanding that everything we say can and will make it back to the people you are talking about,” she said.
While it’s 2016 and there should be less paperwork, Ms. Helferty said that’s just not true.
“There is so much more red tape and paperwork now, and it’s all so complicated,” she said.
One of the most important things she has learned is, “Honesty is the best policy. It is what it is.”
Ms. Frodsham said it’s important to set goals and write them down.
“Goals should be scary,” she said. “Can I do it? Yes. I know if I work my plan, I will get there.”
If the goals are not written down, it’s like going somewhere without a map, Ms. Frodsham said.
“Expect there to be hiccups along the way,” she added.
Ms. Frodsham also suggested that not everyone has to know what your goals are, because some people may be negative, which isn’t a good thing.
“Sometimes you have to protect your goal, but you will get there,” she said.
Growing up, people put limitations on themselves, and others put limitations on them as well, Ms. Frodsham said. These are what is known as limiting beliefs and they are formed when people are young, she said.
“You think you don’t deserve that, something that you carry into adulthood,” she said. “Those feelings hold you back. Be careful with the limited beliefs.”
And, she added, bringing laughter from the crowd, “Money does grow on trees, it’s made out of paper. It’s not bad to make money. If you make good money, some people think you did something bad. Get past those limited beliefs.”
Ms. Brooks then asked the women what they would have changed as they travelled their journey to become successful business women.
“There’s nothing I would change,” said Ms. Frodsham.
Ms. Keon said she would like to clone herself because there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in a day, in a week, in a month. She’s saddened when she has to turn away people who want her to perform a life celebration.
Ms. Helferty agreed with Ms. Keon.
However, she also added, she would have liked to have started her own business earlier.
The final question was what advice would they give to women who want to become entrepreneurs.
“Let things happen,” said Ms. Frodsham. “Visualize it. Write it down.”
It’s important people have a plan and work it, she said.
She noted young men are encouraged to set a goal while women are not.
“Women need to realize they can have it all,” she said. “Ask for help and keep supportive people around you. Surround yourself with support.”
Ms. Keon said, “Be prepared to work more hours.”
However, she said it’s not really work if you are doing something you love. If you are working just for the money, there will be no joy or fulfillment, she stressed.
“The heart and the spirit have to be there,” Ms. Keon said.
For many entrepreneurs, they are not really paid what they are worth, she said.
Ms. Helferty said serving the public is demanding and having children makes it difficult, but with the support of family and friends, a successful business is possible.
There will be days you spend doing something you didn’t plan on. As an example, instead of having a special family dinner that was planned, she could be with a family who lost their house to a fire, she said.
Ms. Brooks thanked the women, noting there was a common thread they all mentioned at least once – and that was they trusted their guts and instinct. It’s important to work hard and be true to yourself, she added.
The women attending had an opportunity to provide words of wisdom they have learned over the years as well.
Pierette noted, “You cannot change people, but you can change your reaction to people.”
Marion said within the room there were many strong women who are very inspirational.
“Be your own light,” she said. “Women should celebrate themselves more often.”
Jo said it’s important to ask for what you need. If you don’t ask, people won’t know you need something. However, it can be daunting to put that first request out there, and many times it doesn’t happen unless there’s a tragedy or illness.
Marnie can recall moving to the area 20 years ago and being told not to tell too many people what she did. As a homeopath, her family was concerned she may not be accepted.
However, she gets joy from her work and decided she wasn’t going to keep quiet and, not only has her clientele grown over the years, but so has her joy and her affirmative action.
“I work for myself and I do what brings me joy every day,” she said.
People come to her for various reasons and they are “like a puzzle,” Marnie said. “They come to me in dire straights asking me for help. I get my joy from helping others.”
Brenda said she sees young women struggling because they aren’t seen in the same light as men, who are constantly encouraged to set goals and reach higher.
“We need to encourage our young women,” she said. “We need to support them. We need to provide them options of opening a business in town.
“Small towns and small communities thrive on small business,” Brenda added.
Closing the panel discussion, Ms. Brooks looked at the beautifully, coloured quilts hanging on the walls around the room. She recalled that when there were quilting bees years ago, the women would gather and talk and solve the problems of the world. Maybe it’s time to go back there every once in a while.
To end the evening, some women remained and watched Suffragette, a movie based in early 20th-century Britain. The growing suffragette movement forever changes the life of working wife and mother Maud Watts. Galvanized by political activist Emmeline Pankhurst, Ms. Watts joins a diverse group of women who fight for equality and the right to vote. Faced with increasing police action, Ms. Watts and her dedicated suffragettes must play a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse, risking their jobs, homes, family and lives for a just cause.
Lara Mylly, who organized the event, thanked everyone for attending and supporting the event. She is looking forward to organizing a similar event for next year on International Women’s Day.
