“Imperfect” beauty means something different to everyone. It is natural and it doesn’t cover up or try to be something it’s not. It doesn’t hide signs of aging, but rather appreciates its wisdom and shows it to the world.
A perfect imperfection is a flaw is so perfect it no longer appears as a flaw. Revealing your imperfections instead of hiding them doesn’t drive people from you — it draws them to you. Imperfections are relatable. They humanize us and they encourage people to connect with us in ways they’ll never connect with things which appear perfect.
When I tell people I write columns for Whitewater News, they usually respond with: “So, what do you like to write about?” While it’s seems like a simple question, I’ve never had a simple answer. However, after thinking about it, I noticed a common thread which connected everything. It drew me to the Buddhist philosophy of wabi-sabi, a philosophy which discovers beauty in imperfection and so I came to appreciate the wabi-sabi that exists all around us.
For me, the splendour in imperfection relates to the human element and the human element is the evidence of our existence and is often found below the surface. As I write about people, it becomes not the person’s appearance that becomes the story but the person’s personal touch.
Wabi-sabi also speaks to the concept of suffering or inconvenience. Society is dictated by the fear of inconvenience. One would rather spend more time circling a block for a closer parking spot, than parking a little further away and appreciating a stress-free walk to their destination.
One day I closely contemplated my favourite coffee mug. It didn’t have a unique design but was just a simple white mug with black scratches and a slightly chipped ceramic rim. I recognized a sentimental value with the mug which was personal. We all have these objects who carry an emotional value that is hard to describe. Interestingly, the ones with the most emotional value, despite their faults, cannot be measured.
Perfection acts the same way. It cannot be measured and is completely subjective. This is probably why brown people in Asia use skin whitening lotions and white people in Canada go to tanning salons. People are so busy chasing another’s concept of perfection, they don’t without realize their own beauty.
Wabi-sabi is a key philosophy when it comes to my creativity and how I process the world. So, the simple answer to that initial question is: “I like to write about the beauty of imperfection.”
Then why do we pay attention to our own minds when they insist that “We are not worthy”. But we are all worthy of self-discovery and personal growth. We just need to find courage to release our definition of an “imperfect” life and embrace living a perfectly but imperfect one. With cultivation of self-worth we can embrace our imperfections and disregard insults and unrealistic expectations.
A poignant example regarding imperfection for me was when I first met Mary, my cousin’s fiancée’s younger sister at their wedding, years ago. Mary and I were both in the wedding party. She was the first person I’d met with Down syndrome. To me, she looked funny and she talked funny. It made me uncomfortable. Without experience dealing with this kind of imperfection I kept my distance but she refused to give up on me.
Each time I visited my cousin, Mary seemed to be there too. With inward charm, she began to worm her way into my heart. Soon I looked forward to our talks. I think my life was blessed because of her. She extended my perspective and taught me about her world as well. She loved looking through Victoria Secret catalogs. Unlike most women, she didn’t get distressed when comparing herself to all those sexy models – to Mary herself, she was beautiful. Eventually she had to go to a nursing home. My cousin called me when she passed. I felt terrible for losing a candid friend.
And to think initially I thought she was flawed. Who was I to judge? Mary taught me about the “beauty of imperfection” — that you’re wonderful simply because you exist. She helped me appreciate what I had, not what I was missing.
