What is the first thing we do when we start to forget people’s names? We check with our friends and realize they too are utterly horrible at remembering names, especially as they get older. Their memory may otherwise be quite reliable when it comes to faces, but usually after an introduction the name is gone seconds later.
So why are names so tricky to recall but not faces? For starters, our brains are far better equipped at storing visual data, such as a face, than a briefly heard name. “We are visual creatures,” says the author of a British psychology blog, “Research shows names are essentially arbitrary and meaningless and give away few clues about our personalities or anything else about us.”
Years ago, when I started a new job in Scarborough, my boss sent me to a Dale Carnegie public speaking program. It continued for one evening a week for 10 weeks and was well known for improving self-confidence and short-term memories. In the first lesson, students would go to the front in pairs (for support) and while leaning on a table to minimize shaking, simply say their name. Just to say your name in front of the others was terrifying. After each session my boss who had taken the program previously would ask me about it. Nothing I accomplished was not nearly as good as what he had done.
Then one night I night I won a speaking award on the topic of goal-setting. The next morning, my boss asked how it went and I told him. He said, “What was your goal,” hedging, I replied, “To have your job.” He went ballistic, shouting at me that I could never fill his shoes. I worked for him for almost three years, always careful about questioning his judgement. Then, he was abruptly fired. I was so ecstatic and yes, I did fill those shoes of his.
With more understanding of the brain, it is now believed it is normal when aging to be accompanied by: mild memory loss of recent events; difficulty recalling names; misplacing objects; and slowed thinking. Scottish researchers have invented a new condition to describe this type of memory loss – Busy Lifestyle (BLS). They also discovered that memory loss is affecting people at younger ages.
Memory lapses can be aggravating, frustrating and even embarrassing. But the truth is that occasional memory blips in your 30’s or 40’s rarely signals a serious problem. Susan Lehmann of Johns Hopkins Hospital says, “It’s typically more about distraction and how much information the human brain can handle at one time. Complexities of life make it easy to forget something.”
Neurologist Jeffrey Cummings, director of a Cleveland Clinic said, “The most reliable observation about memory and aging is being less able to discern the essentials of information”.
I’m relieved to hear this. For the past year I have been putting out signs for Soup n’ Sandwich day for the Riverview Seniors Social Club. Once, the signs didn’t make it out at all and twice someone had to remind me at the last minute. I do mark my calendar but that doesn’t guarantee a thing. That’s why I’m so curious about memantine.
The trial drug memantine was launched recently. The company is interested to see if low doses of the drug, normally given to Alzheimer’s patients, could boost our overdrawn memory banks. The firm has since been besieged by eager volunteers. I’m planning on being one of them! In fact, this trial is just the vanguard of a widespread push by drug companies to create a lucrative new business in memory pills. They clearly believe there is a massive potential market for people worried about their brains.
But there are so many questions: Should we really be taking powerful new drugs to boost our memory? And is there even such a problem in the first place? What next; pills so you can sleep through the night without getting up to pee, or require less hours of sleep so you can stay up to watch the late late shows on TV, or one that you swallow to instantly be prepared for any romantic opportunity (that pill sounds interesting)!
Even in my thirties when I moved into a new condominium, I had many misadventures with forgetfulness. I lived in Unit 312 and was in the habit of using the stairs instead of the elevator (my excuse for exercise). One day, probably daydreaming as usual, I walked to the fourth floor by mistake and into Unit 412. I was standing there befuddled when a woman came into the room who wasn’t my wife. I was still trying to come up with an adequate explanation as I was rudely shown the door.
It happens to others too. A few years ago my partner forgot her purse in Tim Horton’s. Arriving home, she noticed it wasn’t with her. When not in the car either, she panicked. Finally, logic returned and she phoned Timmy’s. One of the staff was holding it. We drove back to Pembroke, but before handing it over, she had to identify a few items in the purse for understandable security reasons.
Even a President can be forgetful. One day, President Obama boarded his Marine One helicopter on the White House lawn but promptly disembarked and headed back into the executive mansion. When he emerged moments later, the president said he had forgotten his Blackberry, pulling it from its holster and showing it to photographers. An AP photographer captured a curious thing when Obama first got out of the helicopter: His Blackberry was already in its holster. Two phones? Or maybe it was his wallet he forgot!
I still have a little booklet from Dale Carnegie days to brush up on remembering names. It tells you to hear a name distinctly and use it immediately and often, even repeating it silently. Using it in rhyme, associating it a with person’s face or painting a mind picture of the person whose name you wish to remember are some of the recommended techniques.
I have been reviewing this booklet for years and I can honestly say it hasn’t helped me at all. But I’m not giving up. Now, I write the person’s name on my wrist when he or she isn’t looking.
