A Spring Tea sponsored by the Riverview Seniors Social Club was held May 28th at the Westmeath Hall. The theme was “Queen for a day” and many of the nearly two hundred women who attended wore tiaras to augment the occasion. The entertainment was being handled by Cathy Williamson and Shannon Dunfield, the details of which were being kept top-secret. The tables were filled before the 2 pm opening with eager anticipation of what was in store.
Backtrack a month or so: Shannon discreetly canvassed senor men in the area until she had six willing to be part of the performance; Tootsie Rear, Daisy Cowslip, Birdie Droplets, Fannie Wigglebum, Swana Nosedive and Zelda Zion-Line. They would be dressed in women’s attire for a beauty pageant. Two practices were conducted, which included coaching. They danced to each of their assigned songs to get comfortable with the steps and rhythm.
On the Sunday, an hour before the show, the men, all but Zelda Zion-Line, were hustled behind the stage curtains to dress, getting their final touch from Danielle Thomas, Inez Winter and Sandy Ortman, the makeup artists.
The show opened with a Milly (Cathy) and Tilly (Shannon) comedy skit to hype up the audience. Next, they ushered in special guest ‘China Doll’ from Ottawa. China Doll sang a solo then explained about the Miss Whitewater Township beauty pageant was about. The winner of the six contestants would participate in the coveted title of Miss Canada 150 on July 1st in Dildo, NFLD. Each table of women would have one vote for the contestant who best performed, based on beauty, personality, showmanship and sexy moves.
Sheila Broome and Jan Reeves, the MC’s, called on the five contestants in turn to dance, wiggle, blow kisses, show leg and flirt winding their way through the tables provocatively vying for votes from the ladies. They would return to the stage and be assigned a number and listen to a humorous overview of some community satire from the MC’s. As the fifth entrant finished, there was an unexpected ruckus from the back of the Hall. It was the Mayor who was very indignant about not being invited to partake in the pageant. A motion put to the floor about whether to accept him was unanimous. He took his place on stage followed by his dazzling routine amongst the lady’s tables, crafted so suggestively, they will have no difficulty recalling Zelda Zion Line in the future.
China Doll sang once more, this time “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.” The contestants and China Doll were escorted to a reserved table where they were catered a lunch of dainty sandwiches and pastries by the kitchen men dressed to the nines. At this time, the ballots were collected and tallied up.
The contestants were invited to the stage to line up with their assigned numbers of their vaudeville appearance. Ms. Williamson announced the winners. The runner-up was Swana Nosedive who showed his gratitude by waving and curtseying. Then the drum roll for the winner: It was Tootsie Rear. He went ecstatic with flamboyant moves and shakes, while the remaining entrants howled in protest! Tootsie Rear was presented with a crown, sash and flowers. Ms. Broome went over the duties expected from Miss Whitewater Township; to attend all events in the township, both social and church ones, all the parades, etc. and expected to clean the washrooms afterwards, even scooping the horse poop when the parade ended. Full of disgust, he immediately removed the crown, sash and flowers and forced them onto the runner-up Swana Nosedive who without hesitation threw down the sash and flowers, walked over to Ms. Broome and crowned her. She glumly said, “Looks like we won’t have a rep after all.” She was also heard to say later, “You guys were great sports to take part in this pageant.”
This year’s Spring Tea went over without a hitch, thanks to the Riverview Seniors Social Club, to co-ordinators Milly and Tilly, the MC’s Sheila Broome and Jan Reeves, DJ Ernie Thomas who always comes through, the make-up ladies, the ticket sellers, those who supplied lunch and the men who served the lunch. The mystery of the entertainment was somehow kept secret. Those glamorous men who dressed and performed as women contestants were most accommodating. And the audience of ‘Queens for a Day’ who it was all for, came in their finest and left the Hall with a smile. Proceeds from the day will go to the Robbie Dean Centre.
