There are around six million single men in Canada. The rest are married or in a relationship with one of maybe nine types of women. Whether she is a Sorely Sally or a Perfect Polly, your girlfriend could be on this list. Let’s just hope you guys are able to figure it out.
Sarah is always right and heaven forbid you if forget to call her, you might as well be hitting on someone else. Her mood swings and jealousy make you feel like you’re on a sinking ship. If me, I would take advantage of my supposed interests in other females.
Then there is Smothering Stephanie. You move, she moves as if your shadow, stuck to your side. You are forever being referred to as a couple and it is hard to remember the last time you had some quality time alone. You don’t even get the luxury of having your morning constitutional by yourself. Maybe this guy should consider leaving Dodge!
Cheating Charlie shouldn’t even be in a relationship. She thinks she can have it all. While twisting her man around her little finger she is getting heaps of attention and gifts from him, but then at the same time she’s having spontaneous sex sessions with anyone that tickles her fancy. At the very least make her confess the details of her escapes while snuggling together in bed.
Laid back Lauren seems like the ideal partner for many men. She is so relaxed about everything that at times you forget she is even there. However, there are drawbacks. She often forgets about arrangements and tends to make no effort to communicate with you or acknowledge you. The only plan is to treat her the exact same so you both have plenty of space.
Wifey Wendy has been known to grant herself the title of ‘wifey’ just days after getting into a relationship. She lived for the life to settle down, buy a house and have lots of babies. She isn’t bothered about who you are or what you look like, as long as you are a fully functioning male, you’ll do the job. I personally wouldn’t want to hang around to be a second-rate husband.
But Mothering Molly feels the need to take on the role of your ‘mother hen’ while you are at work, will check up on you several times a day to ensure you are okay and eating properly. Packed lunches with crustless sandwiches wrapped in foil are her speciality. If it was me, I would throw those lunches in the garbage and eat fast-food.
Sorely Sally before the relationship made an effort to ‘pretty herself up’ when she went on dates. However, as soon as things became ‘official’, it’s bye-bye beauty. Make-up is thrown away because ‘he will love her just the way she is’. She will eat and sleep whenever she wants to, never worrying about being single again. She would be a single once more if she were mine.
Manly Maggie is more like a boyfriend. She pairs herself with a guy shorter than her so that she can be the one ‘in charge’. She works out in the gym to increase her body strength to lift heavy objects without breaking a sweat. I was in such a role-reversal like that early on in my youth blurring the whole relationship. Her wearing high-heels too often broke the camel’s back and we broke up.
Finally there is Perfect Polly, the one that every man wants but can’t get. You just felt you had to be with her always and your life would simply end if you couldn’t win over her heart. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten you don’t end up with this girl but she will always be your romantic dream-girl for years on end.
I really don’t think any woman is an exact fit for any one of these types but they are interesting to consider. When I think of my Sheila, I can picture her in being part of at least five or six of the types. So you guys should consider these groups with caution and always remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Next week: The types of guys out there.
