A funny thing happened the other day when I was sitting in the waiting room at LifeLabs. An elderly gentleman, years and years older than I, was there, accompanied by his younger sister. Nature called and he asked for directions to the washroom. Someone called out, “Through that door, turn left then left again and look for the sign that says Men.” He took up his stroller and went through the door as directed. Time passed and his sister got worried, wondering if he got lost! She left to look for him and brought him back. The man had a big grin on his face and said, “I should have brought my compass.”
It was the word ‘compass’ that took me back to when I was one of the leaders with a boy’s Cub Pack in the suburbs of Toronto. We were on a weekend camping trip near Orangeville. My job was to design a trail in the woods for a skill-testing compass lesson. I then stood at the starting point on the trail and directed each ‘six’ to the west and to hunt down a camouflaged red rose. Not much later, total confusion reigned, the boys were scattered, some even heading back to the campsite in disgust. I should have looked at my own compass, as I had directed them to the east and not west which it should have been. No one saw the humour in it! My son Brett was one of the cubs and when I asked afterwards about the screw-up, he said, “We were too young to realize it was your fault.”
The next year at same camp, we had a firebug. This new cub was lighting matches and trying to set a tent on fire. We put him under watch but he slipped away into the woods, with his compass that was useless as he had no training on it yet. The search was a desperate one, embarked by leaders and the more seasoned cubs. Hours went by – suddenly he was spotted. The missing cub had returned to the camp after doing a complete circle. Being the leaders we should have expected that would happen. Plenty of energy and worrying could have been sidestepped. That would be self-assurance I guess!
I immediately packed him up and drove him home. When we arrived at his parent’s house early on a Saturday evening, they were just leaving for a night on the town. I explained the situation. The father turned to his son and shouted, “Get in that house and no trouble. We will be back later.” I had to give my head a shake! Then I left for the long drive back to the camping site.
I ran across a woman a while ago that could have used a compass. On a week-long business trip to Chicago she hadn’t too much planned after the meetings she attended. One evening she decided to explore the downtown core on her own and take in the magnificent architecture. At one corner, she became disoriented, not sure which direction to take. She walked across to another corner, same thing and then another, trying to get her bearings so she could return to the hotel. Suddenly a gross misinterpretation occurred. A scantily dressed person was uninvitingly crowding her space and it wasn’t Joe Biden. The stranger, smelling of cheap perfume, said in a life threatening voice, “My pimp says if you don’t split immediately, you are in big trouble.” Our woman hung her head as if a dying flower, at the implication of what she was — and hailed a cab at once.
If that wasn’t excruciating enough, there was the Tate couple who began Tate’s Compass Company. Luck was with them; the first contract they acquired was to manufacture 750,000 compasses for the Boy Scouts. They barely met their deadline which was the beginning of the world’s Boy Scout Jamboree. Each scout was given a compass on opening day. Too late – it was discovered that every single compass was made with the colored point of the needle facing the wrong way, so when it was showing North, the needle pointed to the South. The company went out of business of course but from it became the familiar adage: “He who has a Tate’s is lost.”
The car I presently drive has a compass on the display. My problem is when in an unfamiliar part of a city and knowing I have to turn left or right at an intersection. Often I don’t know for sure which direction I’m heading so I still have to make an educated guess, which is generally the wrong one.
If I was the one standing in the middle of Chicago along with my trusty compass which I always keep with me, I could get back to my destination. At least I hope I could before Joe Biden came up behind me trying to sniff my hair.
